Searching
by BluePanda22311
Summary: All my life I was left wondering.  Why didn't I have a mother, she had to be alive by the way every acted but why wouldn't they tell me.  I had enough and I needed real answers not just the ones I was forced to come up with on my own.  Mom here I come.


**Phew! This story just came out of no where and I spent hours writing it. I know I have other stories to get done but when an idea comes you roll with it right? Well hope you enjoy!**

**I own nothing except my OC Haruko. Enjoy!**

I sighed as I stared up at the night sky. I couldn't sleep. I suppose that might have to be due a bit to my blood, my father a former insomniac but I didn't think so. I knew I couldn't sleep because I couldn't stop wondering. Wondering about my mother. I don't remember her very much, if at all. But I could begin to piece together what she could be like through myself. I had her eyes, maybe my favorite thing about my unknown mother.

"Haruko what are you still doing up?" My father questioned sighing at my behavior. I had been staying up and laying on the roof a lot lately and I knew it worried him. He didn't want me to end up like he did when he was my age. He did everything in his power to make sure it didn't happen. But my eyes began to resemble more like his the more I stayed up, which was a lot.

"I'm not tired." I told him simply. It was the truth but he didn't like it.

"Haruko..." He said in warning.

"If I go to bed will you tell me about mom?" I asked looking innocent to hopefully suede him. A hurt look passed over his features before he looked to me sadly. If I hadn't known my dad so well I might not have caught it but I had hurt him by mentioning my mother.

"Is this why you haven't been sleeping?" He asked concerned.

"No, I'm just curious." I lied easily and then faked a yawn. "You were right, I should get sleep."

"Haruko." He called after me, always worrying. I didn't stop just went to my room. He worried too much over me, but I had an idea why; I looked too much like my mother. I reminded him, and everyone else I knew of her, I knew that. It hurt them but they hid it trying to salvage their memory of her; before she left. I was always trying to learn more about my mother, trying to figure out why she left everyone behind but it was difficult because no one wanted to talk about her. Not even my loud mouth Uncle Naruto.

"Why did you leave mom?" I asked before sleep overtook me.

"_Why won't you tell me anything about her?" I saw myself demand to my father, also the Kazekage of Suna. He flinched slightly but then grew cold to the me that shouted. _

"_Why do you insist on knowing. She isn't here and she won't come back." He said harshly and I saw myself flinch. It stung. Even if I was outside watching in, I felt the pain. The stab aimed at my heart._

"_You don't know that." I whispered weakly._

"_Your 10 years old Haruko, she hasn't come back once since she left. What does that say to you?" He said coldly. It was a losing battle for me and I saw myself fight back tears. But I watched myself stand straight and hold back the tears and look coldly at my father._

"_You ever think your the reason she won't come back." I hissed at him. I couldn't believe that I said that, even if I wasn't the actual person who did. But it was still me I was looking at and that was low. The pain flashed through my father's eyes and he dropped to his knees defeated. A single tear wormed its way down his face, something I've never seen before and it hurt even more as I saw myself just leave him there. "I'm going to find her, don't come after me." The other me said so coldly never once looking back._

I shot out of bed panting as I tried to slow my heart rate. That me was scary, cruel, and something I never wanted to be. Sure I wanted to know about my mother, badly but I never want to do something like that to my father. He's always been there for me, even when I don't necessarily want it.

_Would I ever do that? _I questioned myself. I hoped not, but sometimes I didn't know what I was capable of. I never got too angry with my father, but my mother as the subject I could kind of see it. Although I have no memory of her like my family does, she was a taboo. Spoken in the wrong way, like my father had in my dream, well it'd turn ugly. _So how to stop that from ever happening Haruko? _I asked myself using third person.

I was moving before I fully processed what I was about to do. An instinct of sorts leading me in what I was doing. It was still dark and my were movements silent, like a true ninja. I was jumping out the window before I what I was doing actually sunk in. I was going to search for my mother, and I was leaving without so much as a goodbye. Although I did leave a note to my father explaining my actions, I knew he wouldn't be happy. But it was too late for me to turn back, because my mind was set and filled with my target. Whether she wanted it or not I was going to find my mother.

The sun was up but I was already to the forest. Thanks to my father I inherited his ability to control sand. Helpful in the desert for extra speed. But it also was wearing me down. I had to find somewhere, get out of sight because what wore me down, my father would definitely be able to push through. Curse my lower lever ninja skills. Looking around I searched for someplace I could hide, someplace my father wouldn't find and I'd be safe to rest up.

A cave? Too obvious. In the tree trunk? Maybe, but not that one. Anyone could see me. Behind the waterfall? What if I drown on accident? Better not. Hmm, finding a place was definitely harder than I thought. Just looking for a place was not only wasting time but wearing me down further. Hey why not this village in the trees? Wait village in the trees, since when? I had no time to ponder it as spears were thrown my way. Dodging them quickly I sent kunai back at them.

Where ever they were coming from, they wouldn't let up. I couldn't see or sense anything and it was disorientating. I'd never been in a situation like this before and I was scared. What if I died here, without ever finding my mother? Struggling to find the source I worked on defending and dodging. If they thought I would just give up they were wrong. Then I saw them. Hundreds, no thousands of them surrounding me each with their own spear. They got in position to throw and when they were about to release they vanished.

"Enough." An authoritative voice commanded. Looking around I wondered where all those people went, and I realized it wasn't real. I had been caught in a genjutsu, a powerful one at that. Just who were these people that lived in the village? Although I heard the voice, and the spears had stopped I still saw no one.

"W-who's there?" I said slightly shaken. I heard a gentle laugh as my response.

"You do not need to be afraid young one." A calming voice told me as they stepped out of the brush to reveal themselves to me. It was a voice I always dreamed my mother would have and I obeyed it immediately. I wanted the figure to comfort me more, realizing just how desperate I had been for my mother. But a sting followed the thought as they weren't my mother and I still had no clue who she was. "What's on your mind?" The person said putting a hand on my shoulder. I had been so out of it I didn't realize that they had approached. I looked at the figure and realized that it was obviously a female, but as, who I assumed were the guys who attacked me, came out and stood around her that she seemed to be in charge. If her mask and jewelry were any indication as well. She even had a head ornament of sorts that covered her hair. Then I remembered she asked a question.

"Who are you?" I replied, saying my thought rather than explaining them. She laughed again and I smiled.

"How rude am I. I'm the Chief of this village you see here." She told me smiling. "May I ask your name child?"

"Haruko." I told her smiling happily. I felt her stiffen as she looked at me, but she quickly regained her composure and smiled at me again, this one seemed forced.

"Well Haruko, shall I show you around?" She offered and I nodded in acceptance.

"Milady, I must protest, this outsider could be a-"

"A what?" She questioned cutting him off. "What could she possibly do to endanger my people, she is but a child and will be under my care the entire stay."

"But-!"

"No buts, or would you like to challenge me for position as chief?" She questioned him, her voice daring him to say something else against my stay. Did she really plan to fight him for her position? She didn't look like much and that guy looked like he could take her. But fear flashed in his eyes and he bowed muttering an apology. She nodded her acceptance and turned back to me.

"Shall we?" She questioned. I nodded to her and she smiled before leading me into her village. We didn't make it far until I began questioning her. It was after the warriors left us that I felt it was safe to ask her everything that popped into my head. I was curious and she seemed willing.

"Do you always have to wear that mask?" I asked her wanting to see her face. She frowned at this question sighing.

"I do when we have possible intruders or visitors." She told me and I frowned back at her. "It is tradition that outsiders not see my face to protect myself and my village."

"Why would seeing your face cause that?"

"Well to stop assassination attempts I suppose, but if anyone really wanted to do that they could just find the person with my mask. Of course everyone wears a mask." She told me and I looked around at everyone and saw it was true. While different a lot of them looked so similar that it'd be hard to tell. Plus you couldn't even see the person's eyes, I wondered how they could all see.

"But then why tell me who you are? I could easily be an assassin." I said still confused. She laughed at me again.

"While I don't doubt your skills as a fighter, you are not out to assassinate someone." She told me and I frowned wondering how she could just tell. "That and we never wear the same mask two days in a row, we make it very hard for anyone to follow us unless we want them to. But we don't get many visitors, they usually can't get past our genjutsu hiding this village."

"There was a genjutsu?" I questioned confused. I don't remember any except the one I got caught in in my battle. That couldn't have been it right?

"Some are just natural genjutsu gifted and never get caught in it. You seem to be one of those people. A lot of the time its people from this village that can get through it without trying but we do get a few like yourself." She explained and I was glad, that meant my father wouldn't find me as I rested here for a while.

"Genjutsu gifted? But no one I know does genjutsu." I told her. Unless... "Mother..." I whispered but she heard it, I could tell as she tensed slightly before pointing out something else in the village. I just paid attention to what she was showing me, ignoring her odd behavior. She pointed out everything her small village had to offer, and it was amazing. The village while small was so beautiful, coexisting with the wildlife and the stunning architecture of their homes in the trees. It was like every little kids dream home, and I will admit if I hadn't had my mission and I was a few years younger I wouldn't ever want to leave. Finally she took me to her home, no bigger than anyone else's. Another safety precaution I assumed since she did say it was hard to track just one person.

"You live alone?" I asked as she left me alone in her living room.

"Yes." Was her simple reply.

"Oh." I said sensing some of the pain that had come from such a small answer. I was good at reading emotions since my father was seemingly so inexpressive. He really wasn't but you had to know what to look for to be able to tell. I was one of those people who could tell. "How did you become chief?"

"You sure are full of questions aren't you young one?" She asked amused. I shrugged and she sat across from me, a smile dancing on her lips. She took a deep breath and grew serious, like that subject was something to joke about. "I inherited it. My mother died about 8 years ago from an unfortunate disease. I was in training for it when she was still in the early stages of her sickness. No one expected her to live so long. I didn't even have to mourn after her as I was thrown in to the position the moment her heart stopped."

"I never knew my mother. She left before I could ever really know her." I told her sadly, able to sympathize with this woman. She looked at me sadly before she approached and pulled me into her embrace. It wasn't until she wiped the tears off my cheek that I realized I was crying.

"It'll be okay young one. Where ever your mother is I'm sure she misses you." She whispered to me, her voice weak like she was feeling my pain right with me but stayed strong so I didn't have to. She was everything I want my mother to be and that made me cry harder. She held me to her while I cried, rubbing my back and humming to me. I felt myself try and relax, but the tears needed to come out and eventually I fell asleep through my cries and her comfort.

**Chief's POV.**

From the moment I discovered who this strange girl was I felt sadness wash over me. My baby girl looked so grown up yet so lost at the same time. I had abandoned her and missed her every second since I left. I had to leave everyone behind, everyone I loved because of a strange letter I received. I couldn't bear to tell them what I had to do, why I had to leave because they would follow. And where I had to go they couldn't. No matter how much I wished it wasn't so.

I had no knowledge of this village I know led, and I wished it didn't exist. But I couldn't let it be destroyed, everything I had built for outside of it would live on without me. So I left. Without a word I left my home, my friends, my love, and my child. Because I had previously unknown duties to fulfill. Requested by my mother whom I had never known. She was more than I could ever dream of but when I met her I was struck by the fact she was dying.

"_Sakura dear, I called you here for a reason." She told me, seemingly healthy but it wasn't the case. "I'm sick."_

"_You'll get better, everyone gets sick every now and then." I told her but she frowned and shook her head._

"_Still so young Sakura." She whispered sadly. "I'm dying."_

"_B-but you look fine!" I stuttered not believing what she was telling me. I had just found her, I had left everything I knew behind for her and she was dying._

"_It's still early Sakura dear, but the village needs you. You are the heir to the thrown." She told me._

"_But if I was the heir why did you ditch me, raise me outside of the village, leave me in Konoha!" I shouted angry. I had lived 17 years of my life not knowing I had a family alive this whole time. I even had my own family now and I frowned thinking about them. _

"_I'm sorry Sakura. I never wanted to leave you but we were under attack then. Your father and I weren't sure if we were going to make it out. H-he, didn't make it out." She told me sadly and I embraced her, something in me forgiving her instantly. "Will you take what is rightfully yours the moment I leave this world?"_

"_Yes." I said breathlessly._

I shook off the memory of how I became chief. I never asked for it but instead I was thrust into it. I thought everyday about my old life, and while I don't regret becoming chief and protecting this village I do regret not telling anyone. They probably all thought that their Sakura Haruno was dead. But my daughter, Haruko, didn't seem to believe it. It got me wondering what Gaara told her.

"Gaara." I whispered sadly thinking about my red head lover. We had been dating and that's how I had Haruko. She wasn't planned but we both didn't care even if I was only 16 almost 17 when I got pregnant. We loved each other and I never regret having her. Even if me leaving made it seem like I did. I looked at the girl in my arms, clinging to me even though I was a stranger to her. I would have taken her with me but I just couldn't do it to Gaara. Take away his daughter even if it was as much mine it his I knew he'd be more hurt without her. Because he needed Haruko's love, something he could never doubt despite how much I hated the thought that he doubted mine.

I took my mask off to wipe the tears that threatened to fall careful not to wake Haruko. Lifting her with me off the couch I took her to my bed and tucked her in. It seemed she didn't get much sleep, her eyes darkening much like Gaara's had through his years of insomnia. I sighed and kissed her forehead before leaving the room. I had to leave before she saw me break down. Climbing onto the roof, a habit learned from Gaara I looked at the stars trying to calm myself down. But it was no use, the tears refused to be held back and the tears fell as memories from my past life flooded my mind.

The sobs took over my body and I curled up in myself, having no outside comfort for me because no one who could knew where I was. I cried so much I became exhausted and exhaustion made it hard for me to keep my eyes open and my mind focused on the world. Lost in my thoughts, I lost track of what was reality and what was not.

**Haruko's POV**

I woke up with the sun shining in my eyes and looked around my strange surroundings. Just where was I again? Oh right that strange little village. I was in the Chief's bed but where was she? Getting up I looked around feeling more alert than ever. The sleep must have helped and my renewed chakra didn't hurt either.

"Um Chief?" I questioned because she never said her name, just that she was the chief. I wonder how the people knew it was really her. I didn't get an answer and so I went out side the hut and looked around. People out and about masks on as they went about their business. Sighing I hoped on the roof hoping to get a better view. But when I landed I found a woman lying there asleep. She was beautiful, pink hair splayed out, pale skin and a face that seemed perfect. Yet familiar. That's odd. "Chief?" I questioned approaching her cautiously. "Milady?" I tried again feeling weird just saying chief. I held my breath when she began to stir and finally she sat up, her back to me.

She must not have known I was there, or maybe she just didn't care. I didn't know which. She just looked sadly at the village that seemed to go on fine without her. Well she seemed to look sad, I couldn't see her face anymore but her body language said enough. I took a step towards her and this seemed to get her attention as she was standing in a defensive crouch looking at me before I could blink. That one step was all I needed to come face to face with emerald green eyes. The same eyes that I had, and the same eyes that I knew had to be my mother's.

"Y-you." I said shocked and she look horrified. She reached up and touched her face, finding no mask and her mistake sunk in. This only made my assumption true. The woman I wanted so much to be my mother, was my mother. "You knew and didn't tell me." I said hurt this time. She frowned and took a step towards me but I stepping back.

"Haruko, I-I..." She tried but she couldn't get the words out.

"How long have you known." I demanded, this woman, my mother owed me that much.

"I suspected when I saw you in the wood getting attacked, and I knew when you told me your name."

"You remember me but it doesn't matter, because you still don't want me. That's why you didn't tell me."

"That's not true. I've always wanted you, from the moment I found out I was pregnant with you."

"Then why did you leave! Why did you leave everyone! Why did you leave dad!" I screamed at her, getting the attention of some of the villagers now. I didn't care and she seemed hurt at my words, good now she knows how we felt.

"I never wanted to leave any of that Haruko. But it wasn't easy to say no. My mother whom I've never known sent me a letter and requested I come here. Isn't that like what your doing? You wanted to find your mother. Can you blame me for that Haruko?" She questioned me and I automatically knew where she was coming from. It didn't mean I liked it. "I never planned to stay as long as I did, it just happened, my mother was dying and I wanted as much time with her as I could. I never had parents and well..."

"Why didn't you tell anyone?" I whispered finding I couldn't really be angry with her anymore.

"You see how this village is, completely secretive, outsiders are not welcome and I couldn't ask that of Gaara. Not after he finally got accepted. Not with his duties as the Kazekage." She explained. I began to understand, she was torn from her decision, not wanting to leave everything behind but wanting to know what it felt like to have parents. "I wanted to come back but four years had passed, I-I thought everyone had long forgotten me, that they had moved on. But I see that wasn't true."

"Why didn't you take me with you? If you loved me so much, why?" I asked scared for the answer of her abandonment. She may have not wanted to leave but she was able to leave me behind. It didn't sit well with me.

"Haruko." She said putting her hand on my shoulder in comfort. I again didn't know she had come up to me until she was already there. Her eyes held her sadness and I just wished she'd speak so I could know. So I could finally understand why I had to grow up with no mother. "Would it really have been different if you had come with and grown up with no father? You would have looked for him too wouldn't you?" She asked and I thought about it. I loved my father and not knowing him seemed painful. I didn't like it and I realized she was right. I would have.

"Yes." I choked out, all the emotions I was going through made it hard to speak. She took me in her arms instantly and I held on like she was my lifeline. Rubbing my back again she sighed.

"I didn't want to leave you behind, but I couldn't take you from your father. He needed you much more than I did. Taking you away from him, as well as me leaving, it would have broken him and I couldn't do that to him." She explained and I nodded against her. "I want to make it up to you Haruko. To everyone I hurt."

"Come home." I whispered tired again. Crying took a lot out of me, add the fact I haven't had the greatest sleeping schedule it was no surprise I was still exhausted. I felt her grip me tighter before she whispered into my ear.

"Alright." Was all she said and I smiled before allowing sleep to take over me.

**Sakura's POV**

I couldn't say no to her. When she whispered to me in such a vulnerable way I couldn't say no.

"Come home."

That's all it took for me to know I couldn't leave her. I couldn't hurt her anymore. It pained me to realize just how much time I've missed of her life, her first words, her first steps, her first day of the academy. So much. And Gaara, my Gaara, I might have hurt him the most and that knowledge made my gut wretch. I knew what I had to do, I had planned it long ago but after so much time had passed I couldn't go through with it. Setting Haruko back in bed I headed out to inform my council.

**Haruko's POV**

I woke up and smiled, my mom was going to stay with me. She promised. But the smiled faded as I looked at my surroundings, I was in the middle of the forest. She left me in the middle of the forest! I wanted to scream, cry and hurt something. She promised! She lied to me the whole time, she didn't care about me, she just wanted me out of her life. Getting up I jumped to the trees about to head home. But not before I yelled to the trees

"If you didn't want me you should have just said so instead of lying to me!" I cried out before sobbing.

"Haruko!" I heard someone yell. My father. He was coming for me. I saw sand before I saw him but I didn't look up at him, just continued to cry. "Haruko what happened." He demanded yet tried to comfort me at the same time.

"I-I found her a-and she left me. S-she left me after promising she'd come h-home." I stuttered out grabbing onto him as I cried. He held me tightly, angry now.

"Sakura." He growled, all pain ignored for me. I tried to bury myself closer to him, my protection but movement caused him to move him behind him. A fierce aura of protection emanating from him.

"Gaara." Her voice sounded. _She didn't leave me, _I thought as I tried to peer at her but my father not allowing me to move.

"Why did you do that to her." He demanded angrily.

"I didn't lie to her. I'm not leaving her like I did before." She said to him. I finally got around him to see her taking a step toward us from the branch next to us. My father growled in warning and she stopped. "I'm sorry Gaara. I never wanted to leave." She said telling him what she told me.

"But you did!" He shouted at her his sand whipping wildly around him. She flinched but didn't back down.

"I know, I-I should have told you. I should have tried to make you understand what I knew I had to do." She began looking at him sadly. "But I couldn't let you give up your life by giving you any reason to do it."

"How can I trust you?" He questioned vulnerable now, it was a sign I knew he was starting to forgive her.

"You can't, not after what I did." She told him taking another step closer. This time just his sand reacted to it. "But you should know, I never stopped loving you, never stopped thinking about you, never forgot everything you did for me."

"Then why didn't you do anything to contact me? Why did you let me think you had abandoned me and our child?"

"I didn't know what to say, I had so much but not only that, I was scared of your reply."

"I can never stay mad at you for long Sakura you know that." He said, this time taking a step towards her.

"I know, I was scared I would run back to you. I-I had to take care of my mother, I couldn't have left her when she was dying and I might have because of you." She told him crying. He closed the distance between them and embraced her.

"It's alright Sakura." He cooed at her. She held onto him much like I had her earlier, like he was her lifeline. "But why did you leave Haruko to me?" He asked curious now. He had the same questions I had for her, it was surprising how much he must have thought of her when just mentioning her sent pain through her.

"You needed her more than I did Gaara. I knew I was hurting you but I could never leave you broken, and I knew Haruko could ensure that you could heal without me." She told him and he buried his head into her hair, she just held him softly. It was strange how whole we seemed now, how we couldn't really live without one of us. We could survive, but never really live.

"What about your village?" I asked breaking up the moment and getting my father to look at us strangely. My mother smiled at me before picking me up.

"They can survive without me, I left it in good hands." She told me before kissing my forehead. "I have something more important to take care of, something I have been neglecting for too long."

"You mean it?" I asked hoping this wasn't just a dream.

"Of course Haruko, the village was my job, you and your father are my life. I'm just sorry it took me so long to get back to you." She said holding me closer.

"Haruko." My father interrupted sternly, it seemed he remembered what I did.

"Yes daddy?" I asked looking at him innocently hoping to soften him up. He didn't look amused.

"I understand what you were trying to do but do you have any idea how I might have felt when instead of finding my daughter in her bed I find a note instead saying that she left and not to follow?" He asked and I saw the pain I put him through. He thought he lost me just like he had my mom. My mom squeezed me in comfort but my eyes never left my father.

"I'm sorry." I told him looking down sadly. He grabbed my chin and forced me to look at him, his features soft.

"Just don't scare me like that again." He said before grabbing both me and my mother in his embrace. So this is what it was like to have a family. To have both a mom and a dad. I sighed and closed my eyes in content.

**Normal POV**

Haruko stirred from her slumber and sat up. Getting out of bed she recalled her dream. Blinking in realization she sprinted downstairs. Sighing a breath of relief she smiled and sat down ready for breakfast.

"Did you sleep well Haruko?" Sakura asked her daughter with a smile before handing her a plate with waffles on it to her. Haruko took the plate gratefully and nodded.

"Yes momma." She replied. A chuckled stole her attention as she saw her father looking at her amused.

"Really? You looked pretty panicked when you raced down the stairs." He stated smirking. Haruko glared at him and stabbed her waffle.

"Gaara cut it out. How she lived with just you for 10 years I don't know." Sakura sighed shaking her head at him before kissing the crown of Haruko's head.

"She survived didn't she?" He shot back playfully as he stood and wrapped his arms around her waist, his chin resting on her shoulder. She smiled back at him her hands resting over his on her stomach. Haruko smiled at her parents.

"Are you sure your okay Haruko?" Her mother asked concerned and Haruko nodded walking up to them.

"Yup, I just had to make sure my little brother was okay." She replied putting her head against her mother's growing stomach.

"He'll be just fine with a big sister like you." Sakura told her and Haruko smiled looking up at her.

"You think I'll be a good big sister?"

"Of course you will." Sakura assured her and Gaara nodded in agreement.

"I'll make sure nothing bad happens to you little baby." She whispered.

**Well that was new. This story was like nothing I had ever written but it was so much fun, I hope you all liked it. Tell me what you think!**


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